Reflective Practice for Mediators: Exploring the Space Between Certainty and Growth
THE MEDIATOR’S DILEMMA
Every experienced mediator eventually faces a moment of professional uncertainty, that quiet, internal question that asks: “Am I doing the right thing?” It’s in these moments of dilemma and ethical tension that knowledge of reflective practice becomes an indispensable for the mediator.
WHAT IS A REFLECTIVE PRACTICE GROUP?
A Reflective Practice Group (RPG) offers a structured yet deeply human space for mediators to explore such moments. Unlike a “talk-shop” or a coaching session, the group is not about giving advice or analyzing the mediation itself. Instead, it turns the focus inwards, towards what was happening to the mediator in that moment of uncertainty. What informed their decision-making? How did their ethics, presence, and professional judgment intersect under pressure?
THE ROLE OF REFLECTION IN MEDIATOR GROWTH
This reflective exploration allows mediators to unpack complex experiences that don’t have simple answers. The aim is not to prescribe solutions but to cultivate an awareness of self, of role boundaries, and of the subtle shifts that occur when mediators hold the tension between neutrality and empathy, authority and humility. Reflection deepens a mediator’s competence, and it does this not by fixing what went wrong, but rather by clarifying what was happening within the mediator during the mediation.
INTERNATIONAL EXPERIENCE & MENTORSHIP
Tracey-Leigh Wessels, a mediator with considerable experience in family and civil mediation, has been part of the same international Reflective Practice Group led by Michael Lang for the past seven years. Michael is an international voice in mediation and the co-founder of the Reflective Practice Institute. Through this ongoing guidance and mentorship, she has personally witnessed how reflection transforms a mediator’s practice by helping the mediator face their uncertainty with curiosity rather than fear, and by strengthening their ethical core through shared learning and presence.
FOCUS ON ETHICS, DECISION-MAKING, AND MEDIATOR PRESENCE
The group’s focus is not on the details of the mediation itself, but rather on the mediator’s inner experience. More specifically, what that mediator was sensing, feeling, and deciding in the midst of their professional uncertainty and the presenting dilemma. The emphasis of the Reflective Debrief is on decision-making, ethics, and mediator presence. The Reflective Debrief becomes the bridge between practice and insight, between what happened and what was later learnt from that experience.
REFLECTIVE PRACTICE IN SOUTH AFRICA
In this spirit, Tracey-Leigh (who is part of the Reflective Practice Institute) also runs Reflective Practice Groups with South African mediators, offering the same rhythm and depth of exploration locally. Each group meets monthly with the same cohort, building continuity, trust, and a place of genuine safety. The longest-running of these South African groups came together in 2023 and continues to grow in depth and connection.
Over time, these groups become a sanctuary for shared learning — a confidential space where mediators can bring moments of uncertainty, reflect on them with peers, and emerge more grounded in their ethical and professional presence.
THE GROWTH OF MEDIATOR COMPETENCE AND EXCELLENCE
In the end, reflective practice does not give answers. It gives awareness, it increases competence and resilience in the face of complex situations, and more importantly it develops mediator excellence.